Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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