#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops