how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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