what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wait! hundred billions!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what's cool? Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops