It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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PIED NINNY!

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops