one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

Please ignore this statement.

How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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