What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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How do you end a sentence

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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