What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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