what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Stop procrastinating.

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

Good job, son.

Pickles are powerful

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

ewrg

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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