How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

Justin with a hat.

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

Want to hear a joke? Obama

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

knock knock who's there? your destiny

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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