Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Oh, go away

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops