How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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