Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Gordon Brown smiles.

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

knock knock who's there? hope

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What black and has children A black man

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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