Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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How old are you? 7

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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WNBA

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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