Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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