What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Penis-biter

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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lewis=cardiac

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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