Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

Did you know? . You already know!

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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