whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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