How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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