A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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p lkl

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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