How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops