What happened to your hamster? It died.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops