Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock The doors already open

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops