A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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FUCK YOU

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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A man was shot. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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