What did billy get after sex? Herpes

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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