Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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