What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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whats black and white? a zebra

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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punchline below punchline above

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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