What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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i have a christmas tree.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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