What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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