One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

I can count to potato.

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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