What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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What? Yes.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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You see how lame this is?

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops