A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

Dylan is gay

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

Once upon a time, The end.

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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