Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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