What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

knock knock who's there ?

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

But who would want to sell us out and why?

there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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