Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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He--Hey guys

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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