Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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