A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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http://www.google.com/webhp?doodle=6201726X-hA7spmZ-pmZnpnn__-ynJTMzfAAADUAAAcaZmb9sN8GZmGIzMz9UzM3OmZm2n7__6430pmZuSZmZm___y1yGQYhiElhkGQZBkGYZBiGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGITCGQZBkE4hkGQZRkGIUSGIYhkEEhkGUXiGIXkGIXkGIXkGQXiGQXkGQXiGIZhiGIRiGEZhmE5hhGUViGQYRklohkFohkFpBiFpBkFpBkGQYhmEEhmGQYhJIYhlFkhkGQZFg&hl=en&nord=1 For alien signals

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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