Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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Donald Trump

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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