Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops