What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

snowglobe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops