My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Tim likes girls

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops