What did the man say to his doctor?

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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a irish man walks past a bar

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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