What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops