You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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school homewrok

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops