Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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want more?

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Turkey Balls

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops