What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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