What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

Steve Jobs is alive.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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