A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops