A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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