One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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