How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Women's Rights

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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