What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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