Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Penis chickens

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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