What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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