A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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